A girl with a pet canary, does she love it? Of course she does. Then why would not she let it out of the cage? As the saying goes “If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, it was never meant to be.” Because she knows it will never come back, or perhaps her understanding of freedom does not apply to little birds with small brains that cannot judge for themselves and know not what is best for them.
From the bird’s point of view, flying is a part of its being, if given a choice it would certainly choose leaving the cage. But will it survive?
Then what does loving bird-owners do in this situation ?
They find a way to keep their birds happy, yet safe by letting the birds out of their cages in a well-managed environment every day.
LOVE is the fundamental basic need in any relationship; respect is what brings out a well-functioning personality.
“ To respect is to understand that the other person is not you, not an extension of you, not a reflection of you, not your toy, not your pet, not your product.” ∼Peter Gray, Ph.D.
Some parents forget that their children, being separate individuals, have a separate will.
A parent’s job is to love not to manipulate. Children who feel managed by their parents rather than influenced and inspired may have a low self-esteem that may affect many of their life choices when they grow up. Respected children are trained to choose well for themselves because they were applauded for their right choices and took responsibility for their bad ones. Parents who insist on helping their children avoid mistakes may consequently prevent their children from seeing their own childish plans through; thus their children become almost unable to function without guidance; they feel in doubt about being able to make the right unhesitant decisions at times. So what a loving parent can do when faced by the sometime irrational whims of their teenager? Respect, make way, and always be there. Trust that the respect you gave is the respect you have in the eyes of your teenage children; only then you can rest assure that your wishes will be well taken into consideration.
They say freedom is not a contradiction of love but rather a confirmation. But how could this be possible when perfect love stories end up in marriage, which is for some people an institution where one sacrifices all personal freedom and prioritizes their domestic obligations. Responsibilities are doubled and dreams postponed. It is a new kind of situation where one’s freedom is connected to that of another. So what does a loving couple do to prevent their marriage from becoming a step away from freedom? They consider their partner’s needs as part of their own. Those who feel freedom in their marriage are the ones who feel respected by their loved ones.
To love is to put the other person before you in every thought and every decision.
Respect then becomes the natural thing and freedom becomes a common ground.